Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Natural

In my effort to blog from an "I'm not perfect" standpoint, I want to share something that has been on my heart lately.

I never dreamed about being a mother when I was a little girl. I know women who planned their wedding when they were five, and daydreamed about their family plans when they were eight. I never did either of those things. (And I definitely never thought about having twins!) I've always been practical and organized. I spent my life thinking about what was "next" -- next I'll get married, next I'll get a job, next I'll get pregnant ...

And then I had children.

I don't want to make this about having twins, because it's not. And it's not about the chaos that is currently my house, or anything else that inevitably comes with parenthood. It's about being a first-time mother, and the condition of my heart. Yes, I love my baby girls with everything in me -- there's no question about that. When I was pregnant, I studied. I read the books, had all the head knowledge, and when the girls were born, I did a great job keeping them clean, fed, and well-rested. But, like the rest of my life, I spent my days thinking about "next". Next I'll feed them, next I'll let them play, next they'll nap. I tried to squeeze things that were important to me into the times between when my children "needed" me.

And I was never spending time in the present moment.

It's easy to let the routine become the only thing that matters. But I realized one day that it's not enough.
They need me much more than just spooning food, changing diapers, and laying them down for naps. My children are changing every day, and I need to stop and watch it happen, for them and for me. Instead of talking on the phone or checking my email when the girls are awake, I try to get down on their level and interact with them. This may come naturally to you moms who have dreamed about children since you were little, but it took an attitude change for me.

I promise I was never emotionally neglectful of my children. :) I'm just trying to be a better mom than ever. I hope you can spend some time in the present moment today.

You think this is impressive? You should see me nurse them. :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hadley the Horrible

So, we've established that Leila has her signature look. What is Hadley's signature, you might ask? Right now, it's her ferocious growl. Yep, our daughter spends her days growling, to nobody in particular. I have no idea how she discovered it, but I think she likes the way it sounds or the way it feels in her throat. This video isn't great quality, because we use the video on our digital camera, and the light in our house isn't always great ... but the sound is what matters anyway. (Oh, and the sound you hear in the background is Leila jumping in the Exersaucer.)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Leila's Look, Part 2

Remember Leila's look, from October? Well, she's working on a new one. In this video, I was trying to show her while she unstacked the rings, but she was too curious about the camera. Watch for the head tilt, three times. This was the first time I saw her do it, but she spends most of her days looking around like this now. (I'll admit that the mother inside me is blowing it out of proportion, scared that her eyesight is bad already!)

Yes, it's true, I spend most of my time taking pictures and videoing the girls lately. They've got so much personality! It's safe to say that you can look forward to seeing more videos as they keep growing up -- way too fast, in my opinion.

Oh, and a little update -- the girls got their second RSV shot on Monday, and Hadley weighs 15 lb 15 oz, and Leila weighs 16 lb 1 oz!

Friday, February 12, 2010

I Heart You

Happy Valentine's Day!

(Hadley / Leila)

Two things: 1) the blanket in the picture was handmade by my oldest sister for the girls when they were born. 2) I scored these shirts at Children's Place for $2.50 each this week! :)

I hope that there is as much love in your heart as there is in mine.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Giggling Gals

Oh my goodness, I just caught the cutest moment on video. I was literally crying as I was watching this ... and I hardly ever cry! (Please ignore today's zucchini on Leila's outfit, too.) :)

(Leila / Hadley)

Here's the link if you have trouble with the video:

Saturday, February 6, 2010

It "Had" to Be You

Sitter #2!
This is a little late -- she's been sitting for almost a week now.
Also, she got released from physical therapy this week.
Big week for a little girl!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Sew Meaningful

One of the first things Tony likes to tell people about my dad is, "the guy is surrounded by so many women, he started quilting!" Okay, but he also just tagged his elk for this year, so I think there's a good balance. :) Dad makes a quilt for every grandchild after he or she is born, with their name written in the blocks. (During pregnancy, there is lots of pleading to please name the baby something short!) I cherish the gift that my girls received for Christmas this year: their quilts.

Aren't they beautiful? They're made mostly from denim. Some of the fabric is just scraps, but others are from clothes that my mom and other special people have worn out and given to Dad to use as a meaningful touch. I'm thrilled to have such a special gift from Grandpa that the twins can have for a long time!